Halloween, the ER and more...

Baby Monkey in its holding cell

Filipino monkey trainer with his baby monkey

I am behind on blogging- and pretty much everything else. I started working full time again at the beginning of October. We are doing well but it takes some juggling of schedules and help from others to make it work. Thankfully Ross has some days off from school and my schedule is flexible. The first few weeks were rough as I was getting used to the long crazy 12 hour shifts plus my 24 hour shifts as a mom. Plus Marcus had a cold and then his reflux started acting up again so he wasn't sleeping at night anymore. But we have him on a new medication and he has been a happy boy again. And he is even getting more friendly with new people. He actually let a "stranger" hold him during relief society and he was laughing and talking- or squealing I should say- with her. It is so nice that he has grown out of so many of the painful things that were bothering him as a newborn and he is just a happy guy nowadays. He loves to make sounds and grab everything he can. He has lots of cute toys but of course his favorite is paper. He loves to rip the paper and chew on it. He is figuring out how to roll all around so any day now I am going to put him down and find him on the other side of the room. That means childproofing is next on my list of things to do.

I had to work on Halloween but Ross took Marcus to the Stake party. He was dressed as a little monkey. I will have Ross post pictures. He was very cute. He even got a little sticker for cutest costume- although he ate most of the sticker so I only have a little piece left for his baby book. He started eating cereal and has moved on to a few different fruits and is doing well. He makes the funniest faces sometimes with the new tastes but he is a pro at eating now. I can't believe he is going to be 6 months soon! I feel like I deserve an award for surviving those first few colicky months. Ross too since I wouldn't have made it without him. I am really enjoying the age that Marcus is and don't want him to grow too fast!

Ross is doing well in school and almost done with the semester. Then one more semester and he is done! We are waiting to see where he will do his preceptorship for the last semester. I had a week long neuro refresher class at work. I enjoyed the learning although it meant 4 straight days away from Marcus which was hard. And then on friday AM I work up with the worst headache I have ever had in my life. Plus I was nauseated and throwing up. I was scared about what was going on. I tried to see my doctor but he was not in the office so they sent me to urgent care who then sent me to the emergency room. I have never been a patient there before so that was interesting. I had labs and a head CT plus a lumbar puncture which wasn't so fun. But everything ruled out so I wasn't having a bleed or anything. But I still don't know what caused the headache. It took a couple rounds of drugs in the ER to get rid of the pain and nausea. And wiped me out the whole next day. They were thinking maybe it was a migraine. I never get headaches. I guess having a baby changed my body or something. It really has been a tough year for me in regards to health.

So that is the news here. I will see if Ross can post the video we took of Marcus eating cereal for the first time. And some other cute pictures of him.

YouTube Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfW_DWaWkz8

Family Pictures

Mr. Spastic Boombastic

Remembering Heather

Heather, Cassie and I- Homecoming Freshman year, BYU


Heather and I in her dorm room


My friend Heather Ann Luedtke Chapman passed away on August 31st at the young age of 32. She battled breast cancer for almost 3 years and although I wanted her to beat it so badly, I visited her a couple of days before she died and realized how much pain she was in. It was hard to see- Heather was not herself anymore. So while I am sad that she is gone because I will miss her, I am glad that she is no longer in pain. When I heard that she passed away, I instantly imagined her in my mind smiling in heaven, with her big smile, long blonde hair and healthy body- able to run and dance like she loved to do. We had so many fun times together. She was my second half my freshman year at BYU. We did everything together- and I mean everything. We even planned our trips to the bathroom together. And although we lived a couple doors down from each other in the dorms, I talked to her on the phone several times a day. I remember my roommate thinking it was crazy that I had just seen Heather and then we were on the phone talking. Heather was a loyal friend. She always was an example to me. Some people are just "good"- and that was Heather. I know it has been a long time since college but I often think back on my memories. I loved BYU and always treasure the experiences I had there, and especially the friends that I made.

I went to Heather's funeral in southern california. It was a quick trip because of the baby at home. I flew down that morning and back that afternoon. I am so glad that I was able to attend though. Her funeral was a powerful spiritual experience for me. Her family is so strong. And I left feeling determined to be a better person, to be more like Heather. She didn't complain as she battled the cancer. She will always be remembered for her constant smile. And she kept her faith throughout her trials- enduring to the end. The chapel was packed and I hope Heather could feel how much she was loved and how many lives she touched.

Just a few memories that come to my mind right now- skipping dinner at the Cannon Center and eating brownie shakes at Cosmos instead, football games, anatomy lab and stinky clothes, building snowmen, our "Jared" tape that we listened to over and over, singing and playing the piano together in the practice rooms, dinners at Brick Oven and Los Hermanos, dressing up and being my date to the Opera, Homecoming dance at the Capitol Building, candy at the Bookstore, studying together in the library until Hawaii 5-0 started to play, stalking "Ball Boy", food fights in the Canon Center, eating dried cereal for dinner because we were sick of the food, starving on Sundays and late night walks to Circle K or Taco Bell, playing Red Rover late at night, going to Provo Canyon and building a fire and singing hymns on sundays, going to open house at the boy's dorm, sneaking into the boys' dorm through the back door and getting caught by Atila the Hun dorm mom, dollar movies, having the boys take turns waiting all day in line to buy tickets for the friday night movie on campus, going to those packed BYU dances and the Helaman Halls dances- those were so much fun!, forcing her to listen to country music, Disneyland, several trips to Whittier to visit her, eating lots of Mexican food and also at one of her favorite food places- Islands, having her perform her latest song for me on the guitar, watching her tap dance when I could get her to do that for me, always making me laugh- I called her my own personal comedian, Sparky the fireman who was kidnapped by the boys along with her camera- and later returned with funny pictures of the guys dressed up like Sparky, buying Sparky a birthday card, laying on her bed together and talking, her timidly knocking on my door Saturday mornings to see if I was finally up yet, waiting for Amanda to find her meal card before most dinners, Chicago (singing group) concert at the Marriott Center, Tuesday devotionals at the Marriott Center and then lunch together, emailing almost every day after we graduated and lived away from each other, our Book of Mormon trip to Central America. I could go on and on. One of the best things in life is to have true friends. I hope that she knew in life how much I cared about her and admired her.

My baby is getting so big!

See the post below- I added to what Ross wrote. And I have no clue what the first part says- Ross was posting pictures so his mom could see them in the Philippines.

My baby is getting so big!

Ma, para sa imo kini. Dili mang mo magkita so pictures lang sa. Patiencia na lang. Mahal kaayo kamong duha. Ayo-ayo diha.


That was a message from Ross to his mom. Marcus is almost 3 months old! I feel like we went through a huge transition and finally I am feeling like I have things in control. And my body almost feels like normal again- just a couple sizes bigger... The first 3 months have been hard but I am loving being a mom. Marcus is smiling so much now- it makes the sleepless nights a lot more worth it. The little stinker can't make up his mind about sleeping at night. Some nights he will give me a wonderful 5 hours of sleep and then other nights- like last night- he is up every 1 1/2 - 2 hours. Maybe he just gets lonely and misses our company but I wish I could figure out how to get him to sleep well every night. Thank goodness he is taking one long nap everyday- although as I have learned, babies like to make you think that you have it all under control and then they change it up again.
We blessed him on Sunday. He looked so cute in his white suit. I'll have Ross post pictures later. It was wonderful to have my family there and also my second family- Susan, Sheree and Cherish. I love having company because I feel like I am just home by myself a lot. That freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want is gone.
Ross started school. I know it is hard for him to be away from Marcus for so long. Marcus really loves his daddy. The pictures below are from when Ross was changing Marcus' clothes and thought the onesie on his head was really cute.
We took Marcus swimming for the first time last week but it just happened to be a day when i ate a little dairy and it bothered his tummy- so now I know for sure that the dairy was what made him scream so much at the beginning- so he was already upset from not feeling good so he just cried. We are going to try again later this week since he loves bath time so much.
I don't have many updates about me. Mostly I am just at Marcus beck and call. I am missing out on the annual Rucker Lake camping trip which I am sad about. I have been trying to use what little free time I have to start baby proofing our house. I am headed over to my parents' house in a little while to hang out with Liz before she moves to Italy. Sounds fun huh? Anyways, we are surviving and doing well. I feel so proud for having made it through these first 3 months- shout out to all the other moms out there :)

Marcus' first laugh

Marcus has laughed for a while in his sleep but this video shows his first real laugh. Ross was tickling him and he was cracking up. He loves his dad! Still not getting much sleep around here but it is fun to watch him grow and develop his personality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DZyw-iWcRo

Surviving "Colic" (Wastebasket diagnosis MD's use when they don't know what is going on)

We have survived 10 weeks of new parenthood! Marcus is really breaking us in. He had a tough few weeks where he spent a lot of time screaming. I just thought to myself that I never knew babies cried this much. I slowly realized that his was not a normal amount of crying- especially when my mom and grandma told me that they each had 5 kids and they were not as bad as him. So I did some research and decided that he had many of the signs of acid reflux. All babies have "reflux" but for some reason he was in a lot of pain and could only let me know by screaming. Now that I have read way more information, it is obvious to me that he had many symptoms that are not normal but being a new mom, I just thought all babies were like that. So we started him on Zantac which didn't help right away but gradually seemed to help. And then I stopped eating dairy which helped even more. He no longer screams like he did. I am not sure if he has an intolerance to the milk proteins in dairy or if the dairy was contributing to his reflux. I wish babies were easier to figure out. But I am just happy that he seems content most of the time. He still doesn't nap for very long and has nights where he is up a lot. So I am waiting for that day when I get more sleep. But he smiles a lot and is making so many sounds. I am enjoying motherhood so much more now.

We haven't been up to much else. He isn't the easiest baby to take places. My family was all together the past few days so we spent a lot of time at my parent's house and went on a few short excursions. Tom and Monique were visiting from Nebraska and it was fun to see my new neice Ridley. And see how much Christian has grown. And Amanda was visiting from Utah. I miss having her close by but am excited for her as she starts grad school. Matthew just left for college this weekend and it is hard for me to see him move away. So I am getting used to the idea that my family is becoming more spread out. We had a fun few days hanging out and remembering old times.

Otherwise I have just been trying to figure out what does and doesn't work for Marcus. I still have 2 months before I go back to work and I really hope he sleeps more and is even more content to not be held all the time by then. It is amazing how the day just flies by and I feel like I didn't barely leave the house or get much done. So I haven't updated my blog because it doesn't feel like there is much to share.

Ross will post some pictures of Marcus. He is growing and seems to change all the time. Our world does revolve around him so sorry that he is going to be the focus of much of our updates.

Oh Baby!

It has taken me a long time to get around to posting on our blog but BABY MARCUS HAS ARRIVED! Marcus George Ybanez was born on May 23rd (his due date) at 831 AM. He weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces. The delivery was rough and I was sore for a while. Plus Marcus is an active little boy and is keeping his mom and dad very busy. He likes to be held- and wants us to be in constant motion. He likes to be bounced on the exercise ball and be carried around in his baby carrier. He loves going outside for walks. But even these things don't stop him from crying some of the time- doesn't matter what we do. So we are trying to figure out if there is something in particular that is bothering him like reflux of if he is just "colicky" like the doctor said. I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who has dealt with a crying, screaming baby. I am pretty frazzled by the end of the day. We did finally figure out a way for him to get sleep without me holding him. So he sleeps in his swing, swaddled, with white noise. And then we just cross our fingers. Lately he has been sleeping about 5 hours straight which is wonderful. We are still exhausted but this is better than before. We are still trying to figure our little guy out. It has been a huge learning curve for me but thank goodness I have had help from many people- especially Ross and my mom. Marcus is healthy and growing well. We just have to survive these early weeks. He is smiling at us and "talking" to us. And is very alert and interested in what is going on around him.

Here is a summary of his birth story: I had cramping and mild contractions for several weeks before he was born. So I wasn't sure what to expect when the real day came. I woke up on May 22nd with more intense cramping than I had had before. And then I started having contractions that felt different than before. We went to my scheduled MD appt and she said that I wasn't dilated at all and didn't seem convinced that I was in labor. She even mentioned me possibly needing to be induced the next week. And she said she thought I was going to have a huge baby and might need a C section. Which was upsetting to me. She had us go to the hospital to have the baby checked out and he looked fine on the monitor. So we went home and I called my doula. She said that I might be in early labor and it can take a couple days and nights to go through that. I was thinking "These contractions are pretty uncomfortable- a couple days and nights!" I really felt like he was going to come the next day. But I tried to sleep like my doula recommended to save up my energy. I woke up at 630 pm because the contractions were strong enough that I couldn't sleep anymore. Then Ross and I watched TV and I bounced on my birth ball and played solitaire. The contractions were manageable. Around 10-11 pm I told Ross to get some sleep. I tried to rest too but laying down was too uncomfortable at this point. So I watched TV to distract myself. The contractions gradually became more intense and I would have to pause the TV to concentrate on getting through the contractions. I still figured I was in early labor though because I was doing fine managing them by myself. Around 230 AM I woke Ross up because I decided I needed more help with the contractions. We timed them for an hour and I was surprised that they were 4-5 minutes apart and lasting almost 2 minutes each. They got intense pretty quickly. I was thinking that it was still going to be hours and was doubting how I would last for hours with these contractions. I called my doula at 4 AM because I was ready for her help. I started throwing up and was really struggling. We planned to have her come to our house but then I decided I was ready to go to the hospital. We arrived at John Muir at about 515 AM. The car ride there was so so so hard. I was curled up in the back seat. I felt like I wasn't getting much of a break between contractions. I wanted something for pain management at that point. The nurse settled us into a room. She was moving too slow from my perspective. It took her forever to get me hooked up to the monitor and she wanted me to lay still in bed which was crazy because there was no way I could stay in bed. I needed to move. I was 4 cm dilated at this point. Finally she got an IV in me and I had a shot of Stadol. Ross said that people were peeking into my room because I was yelling so loudly. I guess vocalizing is how I deal with pain. I know I yelled a lot because my throat was super sore for a couple of days after. The Stadol helped some- it helped me relax more between contractions which were coming fast and furious at that point. My doula had me sit in a rocking chair in the room. Ross said that I was like the Exorcist because I would suddenly jump up and yell when the contractions came. The next couple of hours are pretty foggy for me because of the intense pain. I remember yelling that I wanted an epidural- although I specifically wanted to avoid that. But I just wanted a break. I was thinking that I still had hours of labor left to go. We had a great nurse though and she said that I should be checked again before getting an epidural. I was already 8 cm dilated so I decided I didn't need the epidural at this point. The contractions were right on top of each other and I can't even describe how hard that last part was. The baby's heart rate started to drop at one point so they gave me oxygen. The on call doc came and broke my water and they inserted an internal monitor. My doctor didn't realize that I was so far dilated and she wasn't there yet. I was dilated and ready to push but the on call doc wanted me to just wait and breathe to help increase the baby's heart rate. Finally my doctor got there and I pushed for 2-3 rounds before she decided the baby needed to come out right away. So she used the vacuum to get him out quickly. Poor Marcus had a bruised head and the vacuum bruised me pretty bad. I felt like I had been dropped straight on my butt. I could barely sit and walk for several days. The pediatrician checked Marcus out right away and he was healthy and doing fine. I got to hold him after I was stitched up. He was so tiny- I thought he was going to be a big baby. And he had this head full of dark hair. The blood vessels in my eyes and on my face and shoulders burst from the intense pushing. That is why there aren't pictures of me posted from right after the birth. It was the most challenging thing I have ever been through but I am proud that I made it without an epidural and am so excited that our little angel is here. Despite all the crying and screaming.

Sorry, that was a long paragraph. Ross is going to post some pictures. Marcus is 5 1/2 weeks old now and almost 10 pounds. I am feeling so much better. The days are long but time does seem to fly by. It has been really hard but totally worth it.

Got Pictures? We do...

9th Month Pregnancy to birth to Present

Hamburger Helper, dinner of champions

Anyday now!

Dr. Tong, hospital Pediatrician, giving Junior a thorough assessment

Hmmm? Signs of things to come8-)

6 lbs. 13 oz. Too small to be a Hawkes baby. Word around town is those newborns average 12 lbs

Hey Son! I'm your Mama (Jean w/ the doula)

Our small cutie pie. Look at the size of that newborn pacifier on him. Looks like somebody stuck a TV satellite on his mouth

Hi Dad!

Hey buddy! I got big plans for you

1st day in an isolette

Getting his hearing test later that night. Mic Check 1, 2, 3...

Waaaa! Put me back in there. Its too cold out here!

Wowzers, was he small

My turn to check you, buddy. All systems checked

Marcus to the nurse, "lady, can you give me a break? I've been through a lot already."

Say Hi to your grandparents, Son.

Wrapped up like a Taco Bell burrito

Mama and Son

Matt

Grandpa getting his turn holding

Hi grandma!

Supplementing his feedings

Daddy, this car seat is too big for me

Getting wheeled out to the car. Goodbye hospital food!

Chillin' in his swing at 6 days old

My Aunt Liz

Great grandparents from Utah

Hmmm! I got them wrapped around my finger. Mwahahaha!

Smiling in his sleep. What in the world could he be dreaming of?

1st bath at home

At 4 weeks

My cutie pie wearing socks over his hands bec he keeps scratching his precious face

He loves his white noise

He loves bathtime

At 1 month with Mommy

Smiling in his sleep

Fussy look while asleep

Oh my goodness!